Being “Different” for Dummies
Chapter 1: The Look
First: In order to be different in today’s world you can’t take a picture just like anyone. You must ALWAYS look strongly to the left or the right. It also helps to look depressed/shocked/amazed for no apparent reason. Don’t be afraid to strike that web cam pose!
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Second: Dark Eyeliner is a must, especially if you’re a guy. Only the coolest bands like “Good Charlotte and “Green Day” do this.
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Our third step is the hair. You can’t be different unless you have the same hair as everyone else. It needs to be no longer than shoulder length and black, only black. Try keeping the front or sides really short.
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Once you’ve got that down, it’s time to do what NO ONE has done yet. 2-tone hair. Just think of any color besides black and pick some strands of hair and dye it that color. I’m going to go with red for today. I’m shooting for the Rufio look.
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Now I know you’re saying, “Ryan, I’ve done everything you told me to do but I still don’t look different!” Right? Well of course you don’t look different yet, you’re not pasty-white enough! To do this, sit inside all day for 3 months and write some “creative poem.” If you don’t want to do that, do what I do! Just apply some makeup that will have you looking pasty as ever in mere minutes! Another way of doing this is by editing your pictures in Adobe Photoshop, render your images black and white and turn the contrast all the way up. This will impress your friends in no-time.
We’re looking good! Only a few more steps on your way to being totally “different!” These next couple steps are personal choice you can do as many as you want of them, I’ll do all of them. It’s time to add cranium accessories. First you need to add a couple piercing to your face. Then add hot-pink eye shadow to the top and grey eye shadow to the bottom.
Now you’re all set to: go hang out at the mall or movie theatre, hang out in some parking lot, go to school and maintain your .002 GPA, rebel against your parents, and most importantly pay a visit to your local “Hot Topic.”
CONGRATULATIONS! Now you look just like everyone else, dumb-ass.
